14 Weeks

Dear Baby,

I went to Dr. Durbin's office on Friday to get my final progesterone level checked since I had been off all my meds for one week. It was kind of scary to stop taking all the medicine my Doc had me on for the first trimester. I know that God is in control, but my human mind does get paranoid sometimes. We've been waiting for you for a couple of years now and I will do anything to not lose you. You are dearly loved already. When I told your Dad that I was pregnant (we were in the car on the way to the church youth group - July 27th), his lip quivered and he had a huge smile on his face. It was an amazing moment. That night at church during worship we took communion together and approached the altar and cried before God. We know that He has given us the gift of you and we felt incredibly blessed and grateful. It was a night I know we both will never forget.

I also wanted to hear your heartbeat on Friday since I haven't heard it in 3 weeks (but it feels like 3 months!). The MA ran the Doppler device over my right side and I didn't hear you, but then she rolled it over to the left side and there you were. Out loud, I said, "Yay!". I know I'm kind of a dork, but I'm just super excited about you. Your heartbeat was 166 beats a minute. You are a strong one! I got the blood results back today and all is well. My progesterone is 39%, which means the placenta has taken over production of the progesterone and we are good to go! I feel so much better about how you are doing now that we are in our 2nd trimester. Keep doing the hard work of growing and I will do my best to make sure you have the best environment to do it in. You have the harder job out of us and I am proud of you.

This weekend I had a Ladies Retreat with my church gals and some other women in local churches. It was an amazing weekend and God spoke to me with some things I needed to hear. Today during worship, I felt the Holy Spirit and cried. At some points I couldn't sing because I was so choked up. Then I held my belly and thanked God that you were with me and experiencing this too. I prayed that you will know our Father in Heaven and become the person that He wants you to be. One of the things I learned this weekend was that I need to have the Faith that God loves you more than I do. Now, I love you to the fullest capacity that a human can love another, but he loves each of us more. It's an unfathomable love. Having the Faith that God LOVES YOU more than I do means that I need to trust Him to know that when I worry about things with you, I need not. I may pray, but your relationship with Him is your own. And he will take care of you. He knows you better than me. He made you.

I can't wait to meet you face to face. I think Bailey and Sophie are excited too, they follow me all over the house these days. They can sense you and are very protective already. In the meantime, know that your Mama & Papa love you so very much. Sleep well little one.

Love & Hugs,
Mama